Pilgrimage helped Traitors star Amanda say ‘goodbye mum’

Amanda, 56, was catapulted to public attention in the BBC’s first series of The Traitors - where she donned her hooded cloak. She is one of seven well known personalities, of differing faiths and beliefs, to tackle a modern-day pilgrimage for a new BBC Two series. Amanda’s childhood was unconventional, particularly her relationship with her mother. As a practising Catholic, she initially wanted to question her faith.

But her journey took her on a different path, as she began to realise there was something she needed to let go of. After her appearance on The Traitors she was warmly embraced by the LGBTQ+ community. Amanda’s father died when she was just 10 years old. She says she had to take on more adult jobs - like dealing with letters and bills.

But when her mother died six years ago, Amanda couldn’t bring herself to say goodbye. She wanted to feel “normality and acceptance’ Amanda would cuddle her mother’s ashes when they were in a box. She placed them in an urn, which sat by the side of her bed. She realised it was finally time to say goodbye when a priest spoke about a place where the barrier between Earth and heaven is thinner.

After filming the show, Amanda honoured her mother’s wishes and took her back to Ireland. Amanda feels everyone could benefit from the breathing space of a pilgrimage. The time to walk and appreciate the beauty of the natural world away from the hectic, pressurised pace of life. Amanda was glued to the second series of The Traitors, but felt grumpy watching the first episode.

She enjoyed getting to know her fellow pilgrims and formed a close bond with TV personality Christine McGuinness, whose father battled addiction during her childhood. Amanda thinks Harry Clark, a traitor, played a “marvellous game and had nerves of steel. When Harry came face-to-face with his close friend Mollie Pearce, he denied he was a traitor. Amanda says she doesn’t think she would have been able to keep up the pretence of being a traitor with Mollie.

If there was ever an all-stars version of The Traitors, she would love to return to the castle and see Claudia Winkleman again. Pilgrimage: The Road Through North Wales starts on Friday 29 March at 21:00 GMT on BBC Two. Or catch up afterwards on BBC iPlayer. If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this story, support and advice is available via the BBC Action Line.